You Looking For Me?

I've moved! Me Myself & Riggins can now be found here:

http://wendyandriggins.wordpress.com/

Do I Need to Define Atheist For You

The Chemistry.com fun isn't over yet friends. My subscription still has a few days on it. Long enough for this gem.

Now that I've hit the "resigned" button more guys seem to be noticing me. Oh Chemistry.com. You are so wacky. Someone today felt we should be a match. Here is what he says about himself:

In His Own Words

"im a christian man,looking for a christian woman to share the word, and pray. also to enjoy life and have a good time while being saved. also to fellowship togather enjoy eachothers company share revelation knowlegde and testimonies."

As you know under "religious beliefs" I've stated I'm an Atheist so this guy obviously didn't read any of my profile. That's fine. Most people just look at the pictures. I do find it odd that besides his lack of grammar and spelling skills he felt deeply enough to write this and yet market his religious beliefs as "spiritual but not religious." You want to make a bet?

My Cooking Skills = You Jealous. Admit It.

As I've mentioned before I read a couple of "healthy living" blogs. They are written by adorable 20 something year old pixies. Vegan or vegetarian with an undying love to whip up fancy foods for them and their equally adorable spouses before they head out for their 7 million mile runs. Just reading about them annoys me. How do this gals have the energy, time, and spirit to whip up a healthy breakfast, lunch, & dinner everyday? Zzzzzzzzz.

They are not me.

4 out of the 5 days of my work week I come home, throw on my work-out clothes, go to Bar Method class or for my run (3 ish miles vs. 7 million), come home and collapse in front of the TV for an hour before dragging myself to my bed (no need to shower by that point all the sweat has dried and Riggins doesn't mind the smell) to read for a bit before sleep. I realize my life is much too exciting for most people to handle.

The biggest problem I have is figuring out what to make for dinner in the 5-10 seconds between going from not hungry at all post work-out to OH MY GOD I'M GOING TO EAT EVERYTHING IN SIGHT post work-out. Add exhaustion from a long day of work and then exercise and you get nothin'. I often make a big ol' vat of something on Sunday and then put a pile of whatever that is in a bowl or plate, put it in the microwave for a bit, and ta da! DINNER! Lately I've been even too pooped to do that. I've invited what I call the NOwich. It's like a Sandwich but not. Here is the recipe should you want to recreate:

Take a plate. Grab a packet of sandwich turkey slices. Take out a bundle of them and place on your plate. Grab a packet of pre-sliced low fat sandwich cheese slices. Take out two and put them on your plate. Make sure to take out the paper they put between slices as they taste horrible. Grab an avocado. Cut it in half. Scoop out the yummy goodness and put on your plate. Grab something from the fridge to drink and DONE! THE NOWICH.

I work from home on Thursday so yesterday I had a nowich for lunch. After Bar Method class I got home and couldn't think about doubling up on those in one day so I grabbed my next "go to" dinner item. I will share this recipe with you as well (excited?):

Take a single serving 1 min brown rice container. Open it up. Grab a container of egg whites from the fridge. Poor the egg whites into the rice container until it is almost full. Put it in the microwave and hit "popcorn" setting. That isn't actually a necessary setting it is just the only setting that works on my microwave. After a couple minutes take out the souffle looking item and turn it upside down on your plate. Add some salsa. DONE! EGG WHITES AND RICE.

Now when I told my mom my plans for dinner she was horrified. Who likes egg whites? I do. I LOVE THEM. If you think too much about what they really are, eggs, in general, are gross. Really disgusting. Egg whites are worse. They are the mucous plug of the chicken. Don't look at me like that. You eat it too when they scramble up your eggs you know. Still they are tasty so you have to ignore their origin. I had an egg white sandwich for breakfast this morning!

Egg whites are also, I'm told, really good for you. Low fat, low calories, high protein. I learned this from a character on TV. He plays a doctor so I totally believe him.

So there you go. Two somewhat healthy (although not Vegan nor Vegetarian) meals that are easy and fast. Take that oddly healthy pixie-like bloggers!

Do I Know You?

I received the following email from a Match.com user:

"hi

hi Wendy:

how are you? I am a member now:)"

Doesn't it seem like he knows me? Like he signed up so he could talk to me? I scratched my head and wondered if I was missing something so I went through my old emails on the system and I don't think I've ever communicated with him ... ever. I don't know how to respond.

"I'm good. Good for you."

"Okay. Welcome to membership."

"Fine. Want to go for a jogg?" (Spelling taken from his profile. I figure it would be best to speak his language.)

"I'm doing well. Good for you. Way to fill out a profile. I'm proud of you!"

"Great. Finally! Thank God. Do you want to get married now?"

I think all those responses are appropriate.

Visual

Per my post yesterday I've cancelled my Chemistry.com membership. If you have read this blog at all you know why. Still some may think I'm being a bit harsh on the system. For you people I decided to give you a visual. Above are just a few of the 259+ men who I have shown interest in and never heard from ... ever. That is right. I "showed interest" (meaning I passed them to the next level in the silly database) in over 259 men and not one of them decided to contact me back.

Sounds like really bad odds to me!

Resigned --- Totally

I was 1/2 through my "matches" on Chemistry.com today and thought ENOUGH. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. So I hit the "resign" button. My subscription ends mid October and then I'm done with Chemistry. I've been a member since 2007 with just a handful of dates. So goodbye.

The one who is most hurt by this separation is you. Most of my "funny" profiles and comments came from Chemistry.com. Even so, I can't go on. For my sanity I have to resign and move on. I'm sure I can find poor souls unable to spell other places.

Speaking of where should I sign up now? I need a site to fill the void of Chemistry. what do you think?

Guide to Stalking Me

Me being me I'm always trying to cut down on the ways people can stalk me. This is such a problem for me. Really. Shaking the stalkers. Paris Hilton, Lindsay & me. We are all very popular people. It is really much to easy to be a successful stalker given the information highway known as the Internet and our need to share every waking moment with our social network "friends."

I've turned off the GPS id on my phone's camera. Did you know, on most cells, if you take a photo and post it on Twitter (for example) people will know where you are since your location is part of the pictures identification? I didn't. Well until I discovered a web site that tracked people via their pics. So OFF went that feature ... as soon as I discovered where it was located within the spiderweb of programs on my iPhone.

I try hard not to "post" info about vacations I'm taking until after I return for fear someone will break into my house and still my Seven Deadly Sins plates (Art and functionality. Very practical. Definitely the first grab by any thief.).

I have privacy-ed up my Facebook page to the point that only a hand few of lucky folks see anything of any importance.

So imagine my horror when NY friends introduced me to FourSquare. This odd "game" allows you to "check in" places while you are there (you have to be there ... your phone GPS has to be within a specific distance of the location). HOW FREAKIN' CRAZY IS THAT? They assured me that it is "big fun." My mind was then blown when Facebook jumped on the stalker bandwagon and launched "Places." One glance at my Facebook feed and I could now tell you a friend was at a sushi place in South Pas or that my cousin was at the bar ... again.

Now here is the part when you get shocked ... I signed up for FourSquare. Lots of reasons but the biggest being I was curious and it turns out companies do use it as a marketing tool (it's true I read about it multiple times in the ad trades) and since I'm in market research I felt I should check it out. My plan was not to ever check in anywhere but I had to start to see how you "play." Then I was addicted and HAD to become mayor of someplace. Any place! You become mayor if you check in more than anyone else at that location over a 2 month period. I think. Honestly I don't know how you become mayor and quite possibly made up that whole 2 month thing.

THEN IT HAPPENED! I became mayor of a McDonald's! MY LIFE WAS COMPLETE ... RIGHT? Wrong. I had a new goal. I HAD TO become mayor of my Bar Method studio. IT HAD TO HAPPEN OR I WOULD DIE ... I HAD TO BE THE MOST DEDICATED BAR METHOD STUDENT THAT IS CRAZY ENOUGH TO "CHECK IN" AT A LOCATION ON A SILLY SOCIAL NETWORK SITE. I HAD TO BE! This week IT HAPPENED! Check out the picture above from my phone.

I am officially now mayor of 2 fast food restaurants and a work out club. Suck on that wackiness FourSquare!

Sigh ... my life is complete. I can now rest easy and stop taking time to check my phone at every location I stop at everyday. Stalking me will no longer be quite as easy.

Him? What? Wait a second.

My profile on the online dating sites is very clear. It states "Woman seeking Man." Not that there is anything wrong with any other combination of these words, that is what mine says. So, obviously, the people who come up as matched to me by Chemistry.com are men. Those who I pass on to the next level (showing I'm interested) are men. From there we can email back and forth and/or play silly Chemistry, get to know you, reindeer games. Explain then this email I just received from some gentleman?

(This spacing is straight from his original letter. Signs of a bad cut and paste job.)

"Hello Dear,You have a lovely profile.Was actually caught up by you and to my satisfaction, i was really amazed when i set my eyes on this astonished pic of

yours, You look pretty,didnt hesitate to send you a letter . I hope it didnt bug you somehow? I am single and never married with no Kids. I am looking to

meet that special someone but so far havent found one yet. I know Good things deserves patience, so in otherwords, I am not in any rush. Just searching and

been optimistic hoping one day he will come take me off my feets..lol...I feel quite delighted hearing from you and writing this to you. I joined this

website few days back and i realized most of the profiles have read haven't been that impressive compared to yours,so i thought i should know a little more

about your unique and differences from other Men. Getting to find true love is kinda getting harder as the day goes by as almost everybody i come across

wants that good time just having sex and notwanting true love, True love don't Lie,it knows no Boundary,its like a seed that Germinates and once it is

planted,it extends it branches beyond a limit of attach Women behavior towards racism,Custom and tradition, I am Originally from Cali but have always want a

life anywhere love takes me or some Natural state place, i will be willing to relocate for that special man for me and settle down to start a new life

together, If you want to talk to me, My email is xxx[email address edited for the privacy of this moron] at yahoo,


so you will have to know that its:
xxx[edited again because that is how dumb this person is]@yahoo.com


Pls do keep in touch if you've got a chance.I will be anxiously waiting to hear from you, send me a reply on my email alone cos i am not used to this Yahoo

personals site.

I hope you will keep in touch. "

I wrote back suggesting they double check the sex of the person they are spamming with their bullshit prior to hitting the send button. I'd like to think that little comment will ruin their day but I doubt they care.

Short of Words? Are you sure?

E-mail I received from someone Chemistry.com matched me up with. Please note I do not know this man, have never met this man, have never emailed this man. THIS is his first communication with me ... ever.

"i found you as one of my match on this site and i thought i should say hi,I have read your profile,all i can say is that i would like to share more than words and make something work with the heart also...really can't wait to have a chat with or email you,let me know if you very much single and if you have found anyone yet on here ?
I like the friendship, passion, intensity and eroticism that develops and flourishes with someone special in the chemistry and the connection feels exactly --- I think this is the key to making any relationship more fun, exciting and durable .... and I love to spoil, pamper and enjoying that one special woman in my life! ... I am a big friend, companion, partner, confidant, mentor and benefactor
I wish i could be invited to your place for coffee or tea to make you cookies,i love baking a lot,cause i am having some right now,i can add you on IM if you have one you can also add me on your own IM******oo.com you can add me now or drop me an offline when i on break from work i would check my IM for your messages okay..
so sorry i can't write much now i am short of words now !!!!!!
sure you are having a great day
bye
David "

Now you may think I am being too harsh and/or hard on this guy. BUT really he is being sort of creepy don't you think? What happened to a nice short and non creepy opening email? Something like,
"Hi. I really liked your profile. I'd love to meet for drinks sometime this week if you are available. Let me know."
Is that really too much to ask?

With the Bar Set That Low Is it Even a Bar Anymore?

Last night I received an email from a friend and fellow online dater. The email contained a lengthy correspondence from a gentleman at match.com interested in her. It was pretty bad. The guy was obviously insane. A very lengthy email, honestly I didn't read the entire thing, about him looking for his soul mate and willing to move anywhere she is located. Something about getting his heart broken. Something about if you aren't into marriage don't even respond. Blah blah blah. Crazy crazy crazy. Blah blah blah.

Yet my response to her was:
"Yeah. That's a good one. At least he can spell though."

AT LEAST HE CAN SPELL. That is what I've been driven to. That now overshadows anything else that could possibly be wrong. AT LEAST HE CAN SPELL. THAT is how low the bar is.

Probably on a strong cocktail of prescription medication for his multiple personalities --- AT LEAST HE CAN SPELL.

Worships at the feet of Tom Cruise and an alien ship ---AT LEAST HE CAN SPELL.

May have women tied up in his basement --- AT LEAST HE CAN SPELL.

His ex-wife has a hit out on him and/or a restraining order --- AT LEAST HE CAN SPELL.

He is a cat person and thinks dogs are evil --- AT LEAST HE CAN SPELL.

He still lives with him parents but has the garage set up to rock his large collection of video games --- AT LEAST HE CAN SPELL.

Sigh.

How? Who? Whatever.

One of today's Chemistry.com matches.

In his own words:
"I'm an easy going person how likes to meet new and exceting people. i like teking long drive by the beach.. and i also enjoy going to the movies with friends..and dinning out...... I'm lokking for someone who is honest... how undrstand what love should be... someone how is willing to love and be loved.. Someone how enjoy life and everthing around them.. someone how is easy to talk to about abything.."

How Many Times do People Introduce Themselves as Maverick to You?

There is nothing wrong with this guy Chemistry.com feels I should date. Nothing that will stop me from hitting the "i'm interested" button, so that's what I'll do. Nothing short of the fact that his name is Goose and he apparently only gets his picture taken while he is on the golf course.

In his own words:
"Hi and thanks for visiting my Profile. My name is Goose and live in Los Angeles, California. I'm an Irish American, and currently an Investment Banker for a major International Investment Banking firm, in the Century City Regional office, I was born and raised in Chicago, Illinois, and received my B.S. Degree from Bradely University. I received my Masters Degree in Economics from the University of Southern California, in Los Angeles.

I have many interests, with golfing my favorite having a single digit handicap, along with traveling, working out and swimming. I have traveled all over Asia and Europe. I'm affable, intelligent, kind, humorous, generous, outgoing, affectionate, and just a fun and decent man.

I'm seeking a partner to share my life with me. If you have any interest in becoming acquainted as friends first, please contact me. Thanks and take good care. "

GOOSE.

GOOSE?

GOOSE!

I simply do not believe that his parents gave him that name. There has to be some sort of Top Gun story behind that right? Something that happened in college and then he thought was cool so stuck with it? Why Goose? Why not Iceman or Maverick? I mean Goose was charming and was with the adorable Meg Ryan but doesn't he die? Who chooses his nickname as the dead guy?

I'm going to stop what I'm doing right now and email my friend who is due in 3 weeks and suggest Goose as the baby's name. Just to hear her response.

GOOSE?!?

And I'm not kidding about sending him on to the next level. He can spell and has a grasp of the English language. Goose or no Goose he's a catch.

What does "?" mean?

From one of the guys chemistry.com feels I should date:

In his own words - "im a open minded fun man love to go to the beach walks or abike ride looking for ? im open im willing to try new thangs looking to find a life parttner to build a nice life with looking forward to it ."

His occupation - " kustom car builder"

Chills - Not Good Ones

I'm sure this guy that Chemistry.com feels I will be a good match with doesn't mean to be creepy when he explains himself like this. But he is. He's creepy.

"Am looking for a woman who is willing to love me with all her heart soul and body...one who doesnt lie or will treat me badly..if u fit this..then we can start out with dinner,movie or ball game or shopping..but once we fine chemistry there is no turning back..can u handle me...my hearts on fire..need someone who can take away....We can began after I get back from Ghana."

What are the Chances?

See these two guys? They have the same exact profile. Same odd headline. Same description of themselves including the following statements:

"I am a very sensual person, who loves to touch and be touched. "

"I have a passionate core and would appreciate a woman with the same. "

"I am open to living within any culture around the world as long as they respect men and their value to society"

The big difference? One guy you wouldn't mind being touched by and the other would only touch you to kill you. I realize that I broke my rule of never posting a guys picture on my blog since they didn't sign up for that. BUT this guy(s) is obviously hiding something, or someone, or has the magic power to morph into two different people.

Okay. You Keep Telling Yourself That

From one of today's Chemistry.com matches whose profile proudly says he is a 36 year old male living in Santa Monica.

"I'm kind, compassionate and loving, yet I'm a "total Dude" who loves sports, working as a sculptor and volunteering for The Make A Wish foundation. I'm 46 not 36, I lowered my age so I wouldn't show up in too many searches, Not ashamed of my age, because age is just a number to me, it all depends on the person and their life's experiences. "

OOOOkay. That's the story we are going with huh? Okkkkkkaaaaay buddy. So you are telling me you think there is a HUGE rush of people searching out 46 year olds? Sooooo much more demand, in general, for 46 year olds than 36? Has nothing to do with you being misleading or you not wanting to date women your own age.

I'm cool with that logic. I'll happily start telling people I'm 26.

PS. You are an asshat.

I'm So Sad

Chemistry has AGAIN matched me up with this ass - (click here for previous blog). ARE YOU KIDDING ME. ARE .... YOU ... KIDDING ... ME.....????!!!

The only difference is that this time he has a picture up (well he has two pictures up BUT IT IS THE SAME PICTURE BECAUSE HE IS AN IDIOT) so now I know what he looks like. He looks like Jimmie Walker from Good Times. BUT without the Good Times. In fact he is very very somber and will most likely kill a number of his wives, if he hasn't already.

That's the last straw. Chemistry.com is getting a strongly worded letter from me on this!

FOE SUR

Info on one of the guys Chemistry feels I should date:

not much to say, am a Marine Reservist will retire this year and am LAPD Detective.
very independent but wants someone who will undetrstans my possition and will bw willing to make a long lasting relationship am strict but very lovable. romantic and easy going. enjoys beeing arround people and most of all would do anything to satisfy my partner... I want to love her foe ever.

Background: I belive in God all mighty, God his son(Jesus) and the holy ghost.. as well as the virgen mary.

concert or play that he's recently enjoyed: 1000 and 1 nights, fantastic stories even though there more for kids storys, your inmagination really takes over you

THERE IS THIS GREAT COMPUTER DICTIONARY THAT WILL TELL YOU IF THE WORDS YOU TYPE ARE ACTUALLY WORDS OR NOT. Spell f*ing check. "Inmagin" that.

Riggins is Ready for His Close Up!

Riggins is entered into a contest to be a member of the Barks of Love calendar. You should go vote for him!

VOTE HERE (CLICK).

When I told my mom about the contest I explained that not only would Riggins be in a calendar for a good cause that I would get free professional pictures of Riggins and that would be awesome. She agreed, then after a beat said, "you realize how funny that is right?". YUP! I DO! AND I DON'T CARE! I HEART RIGGINS.

Click HERE for more info on Barks of Love organization.
Click HERE for more information on Lori Fusaro (super photographer). (Took picture of Riggins above).

The Wendy Uniform - Comfort Is Number One

Emails from Lucy and Lululemon usually go to my spam email folder. I've never changed this since it is a GOOD thing. I can't bear to unsubscribe. This way I feel like I'm still getting the information from these fabulous stores without actually seeing them and falling into their trap. THAT IS WHAT HAPPENS. The email above made it through my spam filter and found it's way to my inbox. It's like poison. What happens when I see words like "exclusive deals" and "free shipping" is that I can't help but to click on it. I'm powerless against it. Then I get sucked into the following logic:
* I have 10 million pairs of work out pants but these are more than 50% off. How can I not buy them?
* Just yesterday I was saying I need to replace a few of my work out tanks. Why not do that now?
* I can wear this in my everyday life not just working out so totally worth it.

Next thing I know my "cart" is full of lovely lovely lovely items and my pocketbook (electronic of course) is feeling the pain.

Here is the thing. I like to be comfy. It's kind of a new thing for me. Earlier in my life (like a year ago ... ) I would refuse to go out in my "work out" gear. I'd rather die then go meet friends for lunch in anything but a dress or fancy jeans. AND shoes ... tennis shoes were for working out and that was it! Going out required heels, fancy sandals, or fashionable boots. Tennis shoes were not a part of my regular wardrobe. In fact a few years ago (maybe a few more than a few) I made a trek out to what was, at that point, a new place for me - Lucy's. I had discovered that their work out pants were far superior to my generic Target brand and worth the extra cash. While at the store I couldn't help but notice that they were selling the brand as a lifestyle. One for young moms who felt the need to be sporty while still being semi stylish. I laughed out loud (and may have pointed in my mocking way) at a t-shirt that said "Got Kid?". Who would wear that stupidity?

Me. Now. Well maybe not the "Got Kid?" shirt since that is really kinda dumb and I don't have kids so would be misleading and somewhat creepy. BUT I do own a number of Lucy t-shirts, tanks, and long sleeve ts. Most with some design that someone thought was "sporty yet stylish" in that "young mom" way. AND I LOVE THEM. I LOVE THEM ALL. You are hard pressed to find me outside of work in ANYTHING but work out pants, t or tank, and tennis shoes. I LOVE BEING COMFY ... IT FREAKIN' ROCKS.

Now here is the kicker. I've never been able to stomach breaking down and wearing the Wendy Uniform to work. Even on casual Friday's I pull out the fancy jeans and high heal sandals. It won't last. I'm telling you that right now. One of my co-workers/friends, who introduced me to Lululemon, informed me she wears Lululemon gear to work all the time. Even going as far as wearing the pants instead of work slacks. SHUT IT! HOW EXCITING IS THAT? AND she is super fashion chick. Since she has said that I've noticed the little Lululemon ohm sign thing on some of her work outfits and think, "BY GOD SHE IS DOING IT. SHE IS LIVING MY DREAM." Today I noticed our receptionist had a fashionable pair of pants on ... WITH THE LULULEMON OHM SIGN THING ON IT. So you see. It's only a matter of time before the Wendy Uniform really is all I wear!

Shoot. We Were Perfect Until You Made "CLEAN" a Requirement

Someone Chemistry.com feels I would like to date:

Hi my name is Richard my hobbies are family,fishing,movies,dinning out,walks,outdoors.Im getting straight to the point im also send me ur email adresses loyal,passionate,trusting,commitment,no head games,no drama,hate cheaters,liers,want to be loved and love,morels,life partner,sensual,a freak in bed,honesty,loyality,God fearing,and open mind about different things,compassionate,loving,beautiful women or a cute women i tend to like the very cute ones,respect,walks and talks,laugh and likes to do so i love humor,understanding,like public public affection,holding hands,passion,NO DRAMA PLEASE, and thats about what im looking or in a WOMEN and LADY that also as here head together ,and it is (email address removed to protect the innocent and stupid) if im this way i except my women to be the same.I want a sexy,foxy very cute women,ill be your protector,best friends,know what she is doing in bed (a must)a clean women,a women that has the same qualities i have and more.Please no head games or drama if that is you don't contact me,a women that likes the simple things in life and the complex things as well,she must stand by my side and love life because its to short.So if this is you please contact me and live in the Canoga Park ,California "

I'm going out of a limb here and thinking this "cute one" must also love poor grammar and a lack of periods and capital letters.

People I Want To Be

The muscle that is on the back of my thigh (I have no idea what it is called) is screaming with pain. I'm fully aware of the reason. It's from doing fold over two nights in a row at Bar Method.

I often consider just not going to class. What is the point of an hour long work out that has me shaking, sweating, and in pain for not only the length of the class but long after? Then I get a visual of my teachers in my head and think, "so I can look like them." THAT'S WHY.

The picture here is of the co-owners of the Pasadena Bar Method studio I go to. Adorable right? Combine them, soak them in water, and I will STILL be heavier then them. Seriously their thighs are the size of my wrist. I will never be as tiny as them. EVER. First of all I my height alone has me TOWERING over them. I'm like an Amazonian in their classes (in a good way --- like Wonder Woman or Xena --- at least give me that --- let me think my giant-ness can be spun into a positive). The only way I'm matching their weight is if I stopped eating and moving for 6 months.

One day a teacher walked into the studio to lead our class. She usually teaches at a different location but was checking out Pasadena. The second I saw her I thought "HER! I WANT TO LOOK LIKE HER!" She was crazy fit, no question, but not crazy tiny. Her arms were perfect, legs slim and long, and stomach beyond flat. Now when I start to think about ditching a class I think, "nope ... how will I ever look like Marin if I don't go?". Marin is my body hero and my goal is to be just like her!

I read in the Bar Method blog that Marin (not to be confused with Marnie) is in one of the next exercise DVD's coming out. She is the one in the periwinkle tank pictured here (click). Don't you love her? I should just go ahead and photoshop my face on top of hers (not in a creepy way) so I can have a picture of my ending goal!

(BTW the guy in the picture next to her taught a class at Pasadena once. I've NEVER seen a room full of women giggle and try so hard IN MY LIFE. It was almost embarrassing. When the normally scheduled teacher was back the next week she had obviously heard of the transformation her class went through and as individuals in the class crumbled and gave into the pain she exclaimed, "If I was a cute boy you all would be trying harder. Didn't think I'd hear about that did you?")

So that is my goal. I'm going to Bar Method myself into becoming Marin (again not in a creepy way).

Maybe it will be Simplier if You Tell me What Love Isn't

Oh Chemistry your failure today is mind blowing.

His headline - I need someone who will love me noting but love .

In his own words - Love can be everything. My love is true. Love is unpredictable. Love is uncontainable. Love is reliable. Love is infallible. Love is right . Love is wrong. Love is weak. Love is strong. Love is good. Love is pure. Love is real. Love is sure. Love is jealous. Love is pain. Love is lost Love is gained Love is naked Love is raw Love is everything Love is all Love is here Love is there Love is beautiful Love is fair Love is great. Love is shit. Love is hate, Love is demanding. Love is it....Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, While loving someone deeply gives you courage. ? ? ?

Why is that a question? There are most definitely a number of run on sentences in there but I don't see any questions. Certainly not one that justifies three question marks.

God Makes You Regular?

I actually almost passed this guy on to my "I'm interested" list even though his profile is SCREAMING of red flags. That is until I read this:

• About His Religious Background: Am a good christian having fear of God in my life, i dont joke with church and regular even when am sick.

That is the red flag that pushed me over the edge. No need to continue. It won't work. Chemistry.com once again you failed.

So Someone Who Can Relax? Are you sure?

Chemistry.com feels I should date this guy:

"MY NAME IS GABRIAL IM LOOKING FOR A FEMALE WHO I CAN KICK BACK RELAX CHILL OUT RELAX HAVE FUN GO OUT WITH SPEND TIME WITH PARTY HAVE A GREAT TIME GO TO A MOVIE RELAX AT HOME WORK GET TO KNOW THAT SPECIAL PERSON.AND I DON'T WANT NO GAMES I WANT SOME ONE WHO IS HONEST ABOUT THEM SELVES AND ARE WILLING TO TAKE RISKES AND LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST "

I don't feel like my Type A personality will fit well with Mr. Relax. Sorry Chemistry.com. Once again you fail.

Honest Question - How Do These People Find Jobs?

From one of today's Chemistry matches:

• About His Religious Background: hello i am Daniel by name and i am easy going and generous and kind person i like to make every body around me to happy i wish i can express my self more than this hope to see my type very soon?

• In his own words: in the future I wish to have an amicable and strong family. In mine
  Lives were the woman and our relations lasted almost 3 years. It was frivolous to me and ours
  Relations are finished. Now I in search. I wish to meet sincere, kind, serious
  The woman. I search for the woman whom could grow fond. I could be very gentle with it. To me
  Very much it would be desirable to have children. I hope, my dreams of a happy family become a reality. I
  I will be fair with you. I do not wish to spend time in vain for any games or chatter.

His profile also says he is an engineer. HOW? HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE? How did the same person who wrote this go to school, get a degree, and then get a job? HOW?

It also says he is widowed so I'm going to go ahead and make the leap and assume he is a killer.

Speaking of Dipshits

Sunday I was at Runyon with Riggins. After our hike I sat in my car and took a drink of water only to be jerked forward due to the fact someone had ran their car into mine. I got out, walked to the car behind me and tried talking to the woman who had done this. She was obviously insane and could only say one of two things:
"It's Sunday. We are all just here to hike."
"Can you move up? This is a stick I can't go back."
No matter what I asked the answer was one of these two things.

Q."Do you realize you hit my car?"
A."It's Sunday. We are all just here to hike."

Q."Can you back up so I can see the damage you did to my car?"
A."Can you move up? This is a stick I can't go back."

Q."What?"
A."It's Sunday. We are all just here to hike."

Q. "What?"
A."Can you move up? This is a stick I can't go back."

I then proceed to tell her I wasn't moving my car until I took pictures of what she had done. After that I moved my car up two inches and she took off. During the next 2 hours while I waited for a traffic cop to take my statement (SERIOUSLY TWO HOURS. Apparently he got lost ... sigh.) she most likely parked, took her Sunday hike, and was home taking a shower.

She is a bad woman. As a public service I've posted the picture of her license plate above. If you see her do me a favor and flip her off. I didn't have time while she drove away from the accident.

Telling It Like It Is

Some people are dipshits. There isn't a word in the English language that is better suited for them ... DIPSHITS. For example the a**holes that sat around and decided to put together the profile above and send me a wink. The only thing truthful about this profile is that the person(s) live in Santa Monica. There is a large concentration of dipshits in Santa Monica. This isn't an opinion. It's a fact. Ask anyone. Dipshits.

I emailed them back (I assume it is a gaggle of dipshits who did this not one lone dipshit) and asked how they could possible have so much time to waste on their hands. Then I blocked them and turned them into Match.com for being dipshits. So I guess I'll never know the answer to my question.

Crotch Ouch

After my long bike ride on Sunday I asked a question that I'm sure had been asked a million times before. Why don't they make bike seats comfortable? I mean what is the point of making them as painful as possible? Doesn't seem logical.

I know from experience and from the dozen or so real bikers that yell at me via Twitter whenever I complain about an ouch in my crotch/bum area that biking shorts make a huge difference. It is obviously a scam of the biking industry. Why they feel they have to put super duper padding in your shorts, so you feel like you are walking around with a load in your pants, vs. just adding padding to the seat is beyond me.

The only "biker short" I currently own are sewn into my very pastel colored tri-suit. I'm not riding around LA looking like an Easter egg. So Monday I made my way to REI's online site and found some women's biker shorts on clearance. Today they showed up. Holy Adult Diaper Batman! These things are not kidding! I took a picture (above) for you to get an idea of what I'm dealing with here. The one pair I turned inside out so you can see the additional crotch/bum padding. The second I poised behind ... standing on it's own ... like a ghost of the bike seat it never was.

I haven't tried them on but I'm pretty confident I'll look ridiculous wearing them. Oh well! At least there will be less crotch ouch!

Daddy Knows Best

I've already suggested in a post that my Mom is brilliant so it makes sense that dad deserves his own blog post too. Last night I was in a deep depression due to the fact that my back log of NCIS episodes (I only started watching this last season so had lots of old ones saved up) had been depleted. I quickly went through the TV Guide to find some more to record all the time wondering why I didn't start watching this show earlier. I LOVE IT. In fact one of the characters, Special Agent Anthony, made my top TV character lists (lists found here and here). In fact, I love all the characters. Well not Abby. Her character is like fingernails on a chalk board but, based on the research my company does, my opinion is not the norm. To each his own.

How did I get hooked on NCIS so close to it's final season? Dad. See mom and dad don't have cable so TV options at their house are limited. Visits home require you to watch an actual broadcast network (although with digital they now get those sub channels like This TV which my dad insists is as good as any cable movie channel). This very much limits my program options. One such evening dad insisted NCIS was worth my time. He was right! In fact he is often right. If it wasn't for him I'd never have started watching Bones, How I Met Your Mother (which I don't think he watches anymore but I'm a loyal supporter of anything NPH does), The Big Bang Theory, and Boston Legal (I have to give some credit on this one to a co-worker) just to name a few. How empty my life would have been without these lovely programs.

It makes me think of things I've missed out on when he told me I'd like a something and I refused to give it a shot. Perhaps Buffy was the best TV show of all time and I missed out. Naaaaaaaah.

Karma Ouch

I did it! I went biking this weekend (finally). After getting all sweaty pumping up my tires (honestly soaking wet just from that activity), I loaded my bike into the back of my car, and took off for the LA River Bike path. Despite only bringing one biking glove I had oodles of fun. A strange and unusual experience for me to have ... biking. It probably had something to do with my slow pace which will have to be challenged in the weeks to come if I want to get close to my normal Tri time (I say normal as if I've done it a million times -- twice --- I've done a tri twice before). This ride I took the time to notice the ducks and some white crane thing and the crazy homeless man drinking Jack and talking to himself. Then off the path weaving around Griffith Park for a total of over 15 miles! Top it off with the fact I was only beeped at once (It is beyond common for bikers to make their way through Griffith Park and most are at a much higher biking skill level than I am. It is well known to those who drive the area that bikes don't stop. I understand that it is murder to slow down and unclip at each stop sign but even my patience is sometimes pushed to the limit. So I made it a point to slow down almost to a stop at every stop sign and only go forward with the car next to me so that I didn't hinder traffic. Apparently a van-ish type vehicle full of rowdy young adults disagreed and wanted to see a full and complete stop. Luckily I reminded myself that I was on a bike and easy prey to a car full of nasties before my middle finger found its way to their rear view mirror view. I was soooo close. Whew. You would have found me wrapped around a light pole by the LA Steamers train.)

Upon returning home I knew my bum would hurt the next day but I was more worried about my lower back. My lower back has been KILLING me. That kind of ouch that keeps you up at night. I blame the running ... because you have to blame something. I've had similar problems when I ran more regularly ... yet another reason not to run as much. I cut way back on running when I started taking Bar Method class but recently stepped it back up for Tri training. I wasn't going to take this pain lying down! Earlier that day I went shopping for my personal pain war. My Target cart had the following items:
*Epsom Salt
*Bengay
*Disposable stick on heat pads
*Shampoo (this has nothing to do with my back pain I just needed shampoo)
Add that to my bottle of Motrin and I was set! It worked! Sort of. I actually slept all night and my back just started hurting again just after lunch. I wonder if anyone at my office would be upset if I constantly smelled like Bengay?

Reminds me of a date I had (what doesn't). The guy smelled of Bengay. I feel bad now that I judged him so harshly for that ... karma.

Knows Her Onions?

From one of today's Chemistry "matches":

"Well i can say is I'm good looking ,sincere,hardworking,easy going,love life,love people,caring,loves nature ..not a drinker or a socialite but i do it moderately cos being responsible is my watch word..i never smoke dont think i will ever do it.i love my family ..loves to travel and i thank God for my job cos it involves lot of traveling ..have never been married but i hope i find the right and special woman for me who will compliment me in all ways.

she must be decent,responsible,dont care if she is fat,short,or tall as long as she is good looking and knows her onions ..she ,must be caring,romantic,hard working but dont mind if she haven't got a job..she must be friendly and accommodating,honest ...i know she doesn't have to be perfect Lol cos im not....."

I don't even know what that means so I guess I don't know my onions. Sorry dude.

After laughing and laughing at this dude I looked up "know your onions" AND IT IS A REAL PHRASE -- http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/know-your-onions.html. Who knew? I kinda feel bad. But not much. Sorry guy. I take back the mocking tone on that part of your writing ... the rest on the other hand ...

Just Call Him Mr. Sneaky

Based on my past posts you should now know that sleep is precious to me and I take it very seriously. That is one of the reasons why I have a "no pets sleep with humans" policy (my mom is laughing out loud reading this). Riggins was pretty cool with this rule at one time and would even deny me his cuddling those early mornings I tried to make him come up into bed with me. The only time he really spent the night in the human bed with me is when he was sick or I was sick. Such a sweetie.

Then his b-day came and I made the grand decision that his giant ball mush bed was bad for his back (he is after all 5 now) and a flatter more orthopedic friendly bed would be the perfect gift. When the bed showed up I was happy with how comfy it looked but concerned with the lack of headrest (Riggins likes his pillow). I've tried many pillow options but to this day haven't found an acceptable solution. The dramatic b-day bed change seems to have thrown Riggins for a loop and he decided my bed was where he wanted to be.

Recently I started the smack down again to get him back to his own bed and off of mine. As of now here is how this "smack down" is "working":

* Usually when I go to bed I spend some time reading my book. It is during this 1/2 hr - hr that Riggins slowly stalks around and around the bed looking for his open chance to jump in. When he gets to the point right before a jump I command, "go to bed". His response is to sulk off and try again in a bit.
* Riggins gives up his efforts about the same time I'm ready to turn off the reading light and get some shut eye. He knows now is not the time to make his move and instead pretends he is in a deep slumber.
* From his bed Riggins monitors my REM sleep. Waiting for the moment when I will be off my guard.
* Super early morning I'm in a deep slumber and he makes his move. He slowly gets up and tip toes to the bed. In one effortless jump he lands on top and freezes. Giving the bed time to settle with his weight and to verify that I haven't been disturbed by his super sneaky actions. He then slowly lowers himself down. Not his favorite position but it will do for now. He has made it to the bed undetected.
* Later I find myself awake. Most likely to use the restroom but sometimes it just occurs to me I'm no longer alone on my little bed island. At this point I'm too tired to give a flying flip and although I may mutter a couple of half hearted, "go to beds" he knows it doesn't have the weight required behind it and gives me a look dripping in sarcasm that says, "sure ... I'll get right on that."
* As I drift back to sleep again he knows he has me. I can't fight him. I'm too groggy and sleepy and out of it. He takes advantage to make himself comfortable. He would prefer if all the humans and animals he loved slept on that bed together in one giant pack pile. Since he can't have that he is going to make sure his tiny pack of Wendy/Riggins is as close as it can be. This means he has to find a way to be touching me. You would think that he would put his head on my ankles or something as non-obstructive. You'd be wrong.
* Riggins does his circle, circle flop (that circle thing dogs do before they lay down in a comfy position except instead of carefully laying down Riggins has a very dramatic flop he inserts at the end). The flop is designed to land 1/2 his body on top of mine so that it can slowly slip down my side and he can do it again, and again, and again. This position also demands a pillow be under his head. He is, after all, wanting to be comfy.
* Minutes before my alarm goes off Riggins carefully inches himself away from me to curl up in a ball at a safe distance hoping that I didn't notice the shenanigans that happened all night so he can do it again tomorrow.

He knows how to sneak into those cracks and hit you when you are most venerable. He would give 007 a run for his money!

Fitting it All In!

As I mentioned in a previous blog I had to take Riggins to the vet early this morning (poor kid has to have a round of antibiotics and special shampoo for his skin allergies) and I have to get my hair cut and colored after work today (yes I HAVE to). Luckily I'm working from home today which means I was able to run during lunch!

Mid day run in LA in July = giant sweaty mess! I had no choice but to plop down next to Riggins on the floor to regain my breath, let the sweat dry a bit, and get my heart rate down.

Now this blog post would be a bit boring without some sort of rant so I got somethin' for you. What is with these elastic head bands (said in my best Seinfeld voice)? Since my bangs currently cover my eyes I've had one on all morning but it is quickly driving me insane. How do you all keep these on your heads? Am I deformed? Do you all have some sort of "shelf" in the back of your head for the elastic band to hold onto? Mine tends to slowly slip up and off during the day. I would say it is due to my lack of hair to hold it down but I see girls at exercise class with their hair neatly pulled back into a pony tail and one of these bands still wrapped around their heads (seems like a little bit of an overkill to me but what do I know). What gives? I don't seem to have the "keep the giant rubber band type object in place" gene that all other females have. Hmmffff.

Now off for a super quick shower before writing up a couple of proposals.

Did I mention I'm still sleepy?

Delete

I'm pretty sure this gentleman Chemistry.com wants me to date is a killer. What do you think? Looking for me ... joined souls ... live our lives free ... AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH. Delete.

Super Weekend

I realize my last post was a bit whiny so I thought I'd share with you my very cool weekend.

Fist off Sat was kicked off with a really nice 5K. The people running the event were very sweet and it was for a good cause (http://rosannametoyer.com/). I crossed the finish line with random people cheering me on by name, thanks to the guy on the mic's ability to look up bib numbers fast and furious. On top of that I finally got back to my "fighting time" of crossing the line in under 30 minutes. With all the Bar Method classes I've been doing my weekly runs have been cut down to once a week which has been slowing me down during races. BUT I'M BACK!

After the quickest shower of all time I ran over to my friends house to help set up for a wonderful little boy's 4th b-day party. Happily my sister and her family were down here so they got to go with me to the fantastical event. That means I got to spend quality time with my sister, mom and the babies and included chasing my nephew around a giant back yard and in and out of a bouncy house. Totally worth it as he is an adorable little bundle of cuteness. My niece was as cute but much easier to watch over! The adult after party went late and I was pooped when I hit my pillow.

Sat I was up early hiking with Riggins which made him crazy happy. He ran and ran and ran like his little butt was on fire. He was happy to fully ignore the cries of a couple men who demanded he was in the area where rattlesnakes are. Riggins has no fear and little common sense so he ignored them with a smile on his face as he raced around the no-go zone (one reason he has been vaccinated for rattlesnakes) and I hoped for the best!

On my way home Riggins and I swung by a friends house to drop off back to school gifts for her girls and were easily convinced to head off to breakfast. Two dogs, two women, and a yummy outdoor local restaurant equals fun post hike morning time for humans and animals!

Then off to see Salt and eat it with lovely movie popcorn and soda! I had been saving my "no caffeine" time out card for that moment. Nothing makes me happier than snuggling down in my hoodie in a movie theatre with a box of salty popcorn and a cup of bubbly soda! I even managed to not throw popcorn and the tool-ish dude to my right who thought his comments during the previous were hilarious enough for us all to hear ... they weren't ... but my popcorn was too precious to waste on him!

Some grocery shopping, an arts and crafts project for a friend, and off to bed.

Woo hoo! Super duper fun weekend.

(Note there was no biking or swimming which means it HAS to happen this weekend. Also notice the mass of untamed hair on the top of my head in that picture. Told ya.)

Constant State of Ouch

I'm in pain. Always. I'm tired. Always. Always. Always. Always. I'm in a constant state of ouch. Why? We are told that exercise makes you feel good, healthy, and relieves stress. Okay that may be, but all I do is feel the pain. Is this how professional athletes feel all the time? If so I take back all those things I've said about them not earning their large salaries. Those poor guys/gals must be in agony.

Due to a self made training schedule for my next Tri all I do is work, exercise, and sleep. Honestly. That's it. The thing that gets cut in that schedule? Sleep, and for me working out more makes my body require more sleep. Since I have no control over the time allotted in one 24 hour day I have to make cuts somewhere. It seems slightly unfair that I hear daily, "wow you look exhausted" (aka you look horrible) when I'm exercising to be a more healthy and vibrant person.

Then there is the actual pain of this working out. PAIN. Honestly at any point in my day if you asked me "what hurts?" I'd have an answer for you. Right now, due to last night's bar class, I'd tell you the back of my thigh, abs, biceps and butt (always my butt ... my butt always hurts .... always.) My first bar class last Nov. the teacher said, "it gets easier but it always hurts." The woman wasn't kidding.

Here is the schedule I am hoping to keep ...
Mon, Tue, Wed - Get up early to walk Riggins, Work, Bar Method class, sleep.
Thur - Get up early to swim, work, walk Riggins at lunch, more work, Bar Method class, sleep.
Fri - Get up early to walk Riggins, Work, Run, Sleep.
Sat - Get up early to swim (before pool gets too crowded), bike or hike (I prefer hiking but I really have to bike at some point).
Sun - Get up early to bike (before the crazies come out in my neighborhood and mow me down in their car), hike or run (if I don't hike it means I have to take Riggins to the dog park so hiking kills two birds with one stone and is my preferred activity even though I should run).

Your sleepy just reading that right? Sigh. Me too. The problem with that schedule is that it leaves little to no room for "life". Life usually gets in my way of making this schedule work. This week is shot to hell. For example, yesterday I had to get up early to clean for the cleaning lady instead of walking Riggins. Tomorrow I HAVE TO get my hair cut/colored vs. going to Bar Method. Seriously if you saw my head right now you would realize this is this HAS to be done. Due to the need to socialize and be happy I'm going to dinner at a friends tonight instead of Bar Method and I may have to take Riggins to the vet tomorrow morning instead of going swimming. All that means is that I will feel the need to triple up on my workouts this weekend. Not a bad idea given that the it will help with my tri training. But zzzzzz. I'm too pooped to pop!

I suppose I need to find balance. You know what would help? Cutting something that takes up large chunks of my time ... like work! That's the ticket! I need to find a way to cut that. I'm buying a lotto ticket at lunch! I'm feeling lucky. Tired and in pain ... but lucky!

Funny Story ...

So one of the things I do on my computer is work. One of the other things I do on my computer is write this blog. One of the cold calling/networking sites I use, LinkedIn, allows you to email prospects (well if you pay them enough money they allow you to email prospects). I'm convinced it is useless but my boss swears by it so I do it. I usually email a group of folks (in this case those that are in the "gaming" industry) a quick intro to our services and request to meet or have the info passed on to a more appropriate contact. Here's the thing. These "blast" emails are somewhat useless so, although I do them, I tend to use the same wording over and over. Luckily for me most of the sections you have to fill out save what I've written before. All I do is click in the area that says "contact phone number" and my number pops up. Tada!

Problem --- The subject line section in LinkedIn emails also seems to hold on to my Titles from my blog. So it is ENTIRELY possible that if I'm not careful, and you know I'm not, I'll send a prospect an email with the title "Sir-Enough About Your Butt."

This has almost happened enough times for me to think of the response I would have to the "what the ???!@!@!!" email back I would get. How's this?

"Sorry sir I didn't mean YOUR butt. Funny story. See I write this blog about my adventures of online dating and things I do with my dog. It isn't nearly as pathetic as it sounds. Anyway, the title of one of my blog posts just popped up and I didn't catch it before I hit "send". Sorry about that. Back to the topic at hand. Can you buy some stuff from me? Thanks."

I totally think that will work. If nothing else, if I make this mistake, someone might actually READ the email blasts I sent out!

Sir - Enough About Your Butt

Headline from one of Today's Chemistry "matches":

"hello i am very senstitive man and fanny honest caring and romantic latino for you so dont be scare you can contact me."

Did he really say "fanny"? Yes. He did. He said it again in his "In His Own Words" section:

"hello well i can say to much about myself but you can ask me and i will tell you what you want to know i am here just to try on this site just let me know what you want to know.i am fanny guy and i like the movies, dancing, dinning and am ready for what you want. "

Despite his reassurances, I'm scare.

NOW You Have Standards

On online dating you have to understand that men don't have good pictures of themselves. They just don't. I forwarded a match to a friend today and when she said he scared her I reminded her of this fact. I told her my standards of pictures for online dating with guys is really low. As long as they:
* Aren't obvious gang members.
* Are fully clothed
* Have pictures that don't involve 1/2 naked strippers, dancers, Hooters waitress'
Their pictures pass!

There is a reason why I have these rules. You should see some of these pictures. I'm convinced many of these guys don't actually own shirts and most of them really really really should. Remember the guy with the picture of a naked chick in his hallway and that is what his main photo was --- a picture of that picture in his hallway. AT LEAST once a day I see a picture that is EXTREMELY questionable.

Can you explain then WHY Chemistry.com felt it was necessary to NOT allow me to post the picture above. It's from my visit to Martha's art studio in Philly. It is art AND reflects who I am. I'm sure certain folks, like my mom, will be happy this photo wasn't accepted. BUT I'm cute in it! I need a cute semi-updated photo and I've had a case of the photo uglies lately which means I have limited choices.

Maybe if I was shirtless it would be acceptable.

Now For A Different View of Dating

My friend Lisa and her adorable puppers (AKA Riggins girlfriend) are, like me, lookin' for a man. She, like me, has a blog dedicated to her search (well mine isn't totally dedicated to "dating" but it seems to have that general focus 75% of the time).

Now a handful of months back I read on Lisa's Facebook page that she was getting married. I was so happy for her! Then I read further and thought she had taken a one way train ride into crazy town. Lisa has booked a wedding venue to coordinate with the anniversary of her grandparents and has now enlisted ... well everyone ... to help her find her groom. AND let me tell you I take back the crazy train ride thing because this gal is workin' it. She has brilliantly managed to find men who will actually DATE her vs. just swap emails/texts/etc. Every time I go to her site she had done something super fun on a date. I can't get a guy to stop emailing and meet for drinks and she is having guys taste wedding cakes with her (I take that back. I could have gone on that killer yacht trip if I really wanted to). I'm telling you she is some sort of dating superstar!

If you would like to read a more positive (I'm not saying that I'm not positive ... wait ... who am I kidding ... if you are reading this then you've read my blog and I can't pull one over on you!) response to mid-30's ish dating then head on over to Lisa's blog for some fun!

http://weblogs.cw33.com/news/local/projecthusband/

Why Tri?

I received an email from the PR woman for TrekWomen asking "Why I Tri". She is looking for information on why the participants in the next TrekWomen CA race signed up in an effort to raise awareness of the event.

Now I'm happy she sent me this email as it made me look up info on the Sprint I signed up for. I was thinking it was mid Nov which means I had a month before my training should begin. WRONG! The race is early Oct. which means my training should have started last weekend. Oops. Well I did a 5K so I suppose that kinda counts. Time to brush of the cobwebs on my bike (i hate the bike) and get a new pair of daytime swimming goggles. Thurs. morning Bar Method will have to be pushed for swimming and the heat is coming which means weekend hikes with Riggins will be harder. Easier to force myself to go biking when it's hot then to worry about poor black Riggins dying of heat exhaustion.

So back to the question ... Why Do I Tri? Sadly I don't have a good story. Nothin'. No dramatic reason why I was driven to sign up for my first, second, and now third race. One year my friend Martha did the Tri with her Step Mom. She loved it and I was more than slightly jealous that she had completed something so cool. I swore I'd sign up with her the next year and she held me to that. Martha dragged me to the Rose Bowl Aquatic center, which became my second home as I love swimming more than any other exercise. (Can't wait to get back into the pool. Although it's packed now so I'll have to arm wrestle some small children and H2O team members for a lane.) I'd call my mom and dad after each swim to announce, "I didn't drown!".

The weekend of the race a mutual friend, Martha, and I went down early to sit through orientation and race. We had a blast! My time wasn't fast but I did it and could now say I had completed a Triathlon (sounds more impressive when you leave off the "sprint" part of it).

This year (just a week prior to my 36th b-day) my friend Giovanna and I signed up for the Pasadena Reverse Tri (run, bike, swim vs swim, bike, run). Again my time wasn't fast but I had oodles of fun and felt like I did something really great for myself. Even with my horrific Easter Egg colored tri-suit on.

I don't want to admit it but the Pasadena Reverse Tri is a shorter distance than most sprints which means for my one in Oct. I better start running, swimming & peddling to get ready --- now (well actually last weekend)! Still I know I'll be happy I did it.

Remind me I said that in about a month 1/2 when I'm in pain from trying to train and "brick" training keeps me from going to see the summer movies and I'm near tears.

So why do I tri? I guess because I can!

Hey Farmer, This is a No Plowing Zone

Another well thought out match from Chemsitry.com today:

In his own words - "that she is onesta, sincera and very romantic,and very lovely and that ne respects S A . something that it does not like of that it says it to me.to see as to solve to the problem, and I plow the same,because I am and plow the same and very pasive hatred the violence."

I can't even think of what he means to say when he says "plow." I have to assume he means plow.

So Now My Future Depends on Pictures?

Chemistry.com isn't like some dating sites. You don't get to thumb through the entire database looking for models (or liars that post old pictures of themselves) instead they give you matches. You then say if you are interested or not and that person is alerted. As we know I rarely hear back from these "gentlemen". Recently though I did. Woo hooo! Now you can choose the stupid steps Chemistry gives you of back and forth silly questions and games or you can just send an email. He sent me "5 questions" (5 dumb cookie cutter questions someone at Chemistry.com got paid to think up). I played along, answered his questions and got his answers. Then I was done playing the reindeer games and sent him an email. He ignored that email and sent me the "love it or leave it" (more on that in a sec.). Obviously he likes the games and email scares him. In love it or leave it the person is given 6 computer randomly chosen pictures and you say if you love it or leave it. Then you compare the answers with the other person to see if you should fall madly in love or not. Sigh.

Above is our "comparison". I'm not sure what this means as I didn't get a guide into reading silly Chemistry game answers. Obviously we can't fall madly in love as we didn't get all 5 matched. Bummer. I'd like to point out I struggled with a few of these as I live in the grey. Not so much black and white. Hot Weather for example. It's okay to a point but I can't do extreme heat for long or I'll either dehydrate and die or become a sweaty ball of ewe (like the Wicked Witch). And "Scented Candles" .. what scent? I can do pumpkin and have numerous ones in the house. I like some scented candles which anyone who has been to my house will know but 'SCENTED' = 'SMELLY' to me and I don't want someone showing up to a date with a rose/violet smash scent of allergy sneezing fumes candle coming at me.

See ... this game is dumb.

I'm Speechless

That rarely happens but you tell me what you would say if Chemistry.com matched you up with the following dreamboat:

Headline - DATING IS THE MOST IMPORTANT ASPECT OF LIFE BECAUSE WITHOUT IT WE WILL NOT HAVE EXIST

In His Own Words - I AM A YOUNG MAN WHO IS SEPSRATED AND LOKING FOR A NEW PREFERABLE WHITE LADY WHO POLYGAMY MARRIGE IS NOT A PROBLEM TO HER AND IS READY FOR NEW WAY OF LIFE .FOR ME MARRIAGE DOES NOT MEAN STAYING TOGETHER IN ONE SHELTER BUT IS MUTUAL UNDERSTANDING BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMAN TO ESTABLISHED THEIR FAMILLY THT IS TO LOVE EACH OTHER ,DELIVERED CHILDREEN AND GIVE THEM GOOD EDUCATIONAL BACKGROUND

Profession - ISALES MANAGER AND CHARGE OF MARKETING OF OUR COMPANY PRODUC

Religious Background - FOR ME GOD HAS CREATED US WITH A PURPOSE AND THE PURPOSE IS TO WORSHIP HIM ALONE WITHOUT ASSOCIATING HIM WITH ANY OTHER CREATURE BECAUSE HE IS UNIQUE NO OTHER CREATURE IS LIKE HIM HE HAS NO FATHER NO MOTHER NO SON AND NO DOUGHTER ALL BELONG TO HIM

Movie he has recently enjoyed - I ENJOY THE GLADIATOR BECAUSE HE IS A MAN WHO HAVE WHAT WE CALL HEART

Speechless right? Told you.

My Two Current Favorite Running Songs

The only time I really listen to my iPod is when I'm running or walking Riggins. Although my taste run from musical to rap I tend to gravitate toward songs that I can dream to which makes running a wee bit easier. Here are my two current favorites:

1. Break Your Heart by Taio Cruz. I don't know who Taio Cruz is but he has a few songs featured on my running list. In general hip hop lends itself to being a great running companion. The beat is obvious, strong, and usually just my jogging speed. Add a dash of bad boy flare and I'm all in. This song has a bonus special of Ludacris referring to something as ludicrous. Ha! Kisses to him and Taio (whoever that dude is).

Taio Cruz feat. Ludacris - break your Heart @ Yahoo! Video

2. Now the theme of that last song and my last blog post may have you questioning my mental state when it comes to things of the heart. Never fear! Michael Buble is here! I have a soft spot for dreamy deep velvet male voices and upbeat love songs. Cocky Buble fits the bill perfectly. His song, Haven't Met You Yet, isn't too slow to make it a useless running pal. In fact it's uplifting message gets into your head and while you are starry eyed the miles just tick by (just make sure you are still partly in the game or you could get run over). Take a look (and listen) of him with his "I'm all that and more" charm.

Haven't Met You Yet @ Yahoo! Video

Now just for fun here is 10 songs from my iPod from shuffle mode unedited. Just so you know I'm not lying about my range of musical tastes:

1. According to You - Orianthi

2. It Happens - Sugarland

3. When Love Takes Over - David Guetta

4. Replay - Iyaz

5. Don't Stop Believin' - Journey

6. Cooler Than Me - Mike Posner

7. Break Your Heart - Taio Cruz

8. Savior - Rise Against

9. Wrong Baby Wrong Baby Wrong - Martina McBride.

10. Evacuate the Dancefloor - Casada

Play along. Do a shuffle. What's your 10?