Mar 15, 2010

The Pink Eye Scare of Twenty Ten

After my sister and mom suffered through pink eye I was unhappy to discover my right eye was itchy, oozy, and unhappy. It annoys me that I would have pink eye for the same reason it would annoy me if I got the chicken pox. I'm not high risk. I don't have kids. I'm not around kids. I don't spend a lot of time with people with kids. As my hateful doctor pointed out to me there is no reason to get a chicken pox vaccine if I'm never going to be exposed to it. AND YET MY EYE HURTS. It's mother natures cruel trick to point out to me I don't have my own children. I hate that b**ch. (That line couple of lines made me laugh out loud at my desk like a crazy person.)

The worse part of maybe/probably having pink eye? Having to wear my glasses. Now my glasses have never really fit me because I forget to take them with me when I go to the eye doctor so that could be the ACTUAL problem. STILL HOW DO YOU GLASSES WEARING PEOPLE DO IT ... AND WHY? You realize technology is on your side and contacts/surgery are now an option. They even have these awesome contacts you keep on your eyes 24/7 for a month before just tossing them and getting a new pair. I used them for over a year and LOVED them. I had the sight of a 5 year old. Perfect. Sadly my eyes are so horrific I had to change to a type of contacts that doesn't allow for that 24/7 option. That doesn't get around the fact that very few people actually HAVE to wear glasses now. It's Twenty Ten people. Let technology work for you.

Here are the problems with me wearing glasses:

#1 I forget I have glasses on NOT sunglasses and constantly get caught starring at people.
#2 I forget I have glasses on NOT sunglasses and when I drive into a dark place (like the garage in my office) I take my glasses off to see better only to become immediately blind and nearly kill myself.
#3 I put my ear piece on while driving (so I can multi-task and talk on the phone) and knock my glasses off one ear. Result is similar to #2.
#4 I can't wear mascara, the only staple in my make-up armory. If I do my eyelashes hit my glasses and just go all wacky and smudgy.
#5 I can't run, swim, hike, bike, or do Bar Method with glasses on because I get so sweaty they slip off my face and I become blind again. How am I supposed to train for this triathlon with glasses on?

So I've given up. Pink eye or not I'm putting my contacts back on. SUPPORT TECHNOLOGY!

Mar 2, 2010

Leave the Fruit Out of It!

Another headline from a "match" -

"Hello Ladies I'm looking for my other half of the orange"

Fight On

A headline from a "match" ---

"hello there sexy im hopeing time will favor us and our heartg desires and the best of succus smile"

I applaud your decision NOT to use spell check. Machines will run the world one day. I'm with you my friend. Fight the power! Fight the machine! Fight on!

Mar 1, 2010

That's Not My Name (if you know the song sing along)

So, I'm all for the cut and paste option when using online dating. The more you email, the more you go out, the better chance you have at finding someone who you don't want to punch in the face 24/7. Still, this email below that I just received, proves you need to be careful when cutting and pasting. Unless my name is Wendy Lisa ... in that case PERFECTO!

"Great Prpfile

Hi Wendy!

Hey Lisa!

So, you love Dogs, Hiking and Wine Tasting? And you're absolutely beautiful on top of that? do I sign up for that? Ok, I did sign up for Match and it seems that you could be exactly what I'm looking for! I'd love to meet an active girl who is looking for someone to do the same with!

I do realize that I'm in San Diego and you're in LA. I am originally from New York and moved to CA a year and a half ago and absolutely love it. I spend a ton of time socially and for work in LA, and for the right girl I don't see LA as too far....besides SD is a great place as well!

My number is 914-xxx-xxxx...if you'd like to talk, then that, to me, is a great place to start. Or, if you'd like to meet for a drink, then I will be in LA on Thursday and could make some plans to simply meet for a drink. I promise that we'll have a good time and it will beb relaxed!

Have a great night Lisa!"