Feb 4, 2010

Soulmate II

One of today's Chemistry.com headlines that I was matched with:

"I am looking for some one that can be rigth by me not in front or behin in other words some one that can carry her own weight. "

True dat dog. I hate when people dare stand behin me. It's just not right. NOT RIGHT!

Here is the description another match wrote about himself ... when asked to give details about himself ... not what he does for a living or his philosophy of life ... info that would be important to know about him prior to a first date.

"A composer (Latin com+ponere, literally "one who puts together") is a person who creates music, usually by musical notation, for interpretation and performance. The level of distinction between composers and other musicians varies, which affects issues such as copyright and the deference given to individual interpretations of a particular piece of music. In the development of European music, the function of composing music initially did not have much greater importance than that of performing it. The preservation of individual compositions did not receive enormous attention and musicians generally had no qualms about modifying compositions for performance. Over time, however, the written notation of the composer came to be treated as strict instructions from which performers should not deviate without good practical or artistic reason. Performers do, however, play the music and interpret it in a way that is all their own. In fact, in the concerto form, the soloist would often compose and perform a cadenza as a way to express their individual interpretation of the piece.

The term "composer" is often used to refer to composers of instrumental music, such as those found in classical, jazz or other forms of art and traditional music. In popular and folk music, the composer is usually called a songwriter, since the music generally takes the form of a song."

If you read all of that then you did better than me. I'm sure he is very nice but I will never know as:
A. His profile annoys me (Which oddly enough I don't usually hold against people as most don't know how to write and online profiles are dumb. Seriously Shakespeare, David Mamet, Michael Crichton, Jodi Picoult, Tennessee Williams, and Judy Blume would all have lame profiles. They are impossible to write even for the most talented author.)
B. I'd get too drunk on a first date. He would obviously talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk ... while I did nothing but consumed beverages and excused myself for restroom breaks (he probably wouldn't stop talking while I was gone). Take it from me. During a recent date I forgot the sound of my own voice and spent 30 minutes staring at an empty glass mentally calculating the odds of getting a DUI on the way home vs. listening to the blah blah blah for much longer sober.
C. No picture. You know my feelings on this. PUT A FREAKIN' PICTURE UP. FAIR IS FAIR.

Feb 3, 2010

Total Soulmates

Logging into Chemistry.com today I was happy to see that they had identified members of their prestigious panel who would fit well with me. They have to be correct in their love choices, after all I took that ridiculously long questionnaire just so the magical site could match me up with guys and give me valid reasons why we should spend eternity together.

"Like you Markus enjoys watching movies."
"Like you Ben is the oldest child."
"Like you Charlie likes to breath oxygen."

More times than I like to admit Chemistry matches me with someone that makes me want to take the staircase to the roof of the building and swan dive off of it. Today though I was in for a special treat!

The first thing that you see is the person's tag line. A small, usually one liner, that is suppose to capture your attention and make you want to learn more. One of today's "match" victims had the following headline:

Hello easy goin fello here just chillin lookin for something different in my life thats good and appreciative of good company 22"

Not going to lie. I am intrigured and want to read more. Maybe not for the reasons Chemistry was hoping for but why argue over something so small as "reason". So I happily read his profile:

Me like i said im easy goin but don't make me mad love delicious ladies that can appreciate a real man a good man a good person if intrested take a peak.id luv too here from intresting people whats the flavor for this year??"

He loves delicious ladies and I AM a delicious lady. I don't want to get ahead of myself and say we are soulmates but come on ... can you deny it at this point? I'd love to "take a peak" but sadly he did not post any pictures. My imagination will just have to run wild! Although further analysis of his profile gives me this tidbit of insightful information:

"A book, movie, concert or play that he's recently enjoyed: enjoyed the action and plot of transformers 2"

What a catch ladies. Back off. Chemistry has decided he is mine. I hear wedding bells.

Feb 2, 2010

If I Ruled the Award Shows - Revised

The Young Victoria! I can't believe I forgot that movie. Sorry Sherlock Holmes you have been bumped from the previous list. The Young Victoria is adorable and everyone should go see it.

Feb 1, 2010

If I Ruled the Award Shows

This time of year Hollywood, and the entire Entertainment community, takes a time out to go on a non-stop ride of patting itself on the back. Have you ever seen so many self-righteous people talking about how great they are? You already have a dream job, make oodles more money than most of us, and get so much vacation time it would make even a teachers head spin. Do you need to take the time to CONSTANTLY award yourselves? Of course other industries award themselves too but they don't televise it .... with a pre and post show ... constant recaps ... and self promotion.

Still I love to be entertained so although they aren't heart surgeons, I will allow them to continue.

Tomorrow the tippy top of Hollywood awards, the Academy Awards, announces their nominations. Essentially an isolated group of people, using their own personal qualifications, tell us what the best movies of the year are. Here would be my choices if anyone asked me ... which they don't.

In no particular order for 10-7:
* Sherlock Holmes --- Totally worth my money and caloric intact required for the popcorn and soda.
* The Blind Side --- Shout out to Riggins within the first 5 minutes. Need I say more?
* District 9 --- Okay admittedly somewhat creepy but did a great job of illuminating a current human problem. And the aliens weren't "real" looking so I was okay with them.
* The Proposal --- I watched this on VOD the other day. Totally charming. Not to mention Ryan Renolds is dreamy. The Wolverine movie almost made the list because of him.
* (500) Days of Summer --- If you can ignore the tools in your life that say they have dated a woman who treated them just like the male lead (no you haven't ... tool) you are in for an adorable treat.
* Star Trek --- I had "Live Long and Prosper" as the sign off of my personal email for months prior to this movie. It HAD to make the list.
* Up In The Air --- Despite it's length it's strength to be tragic among Hollywood's constant need for a happy ending, kept it real.
Now to countdown the rest:
#3 - Avatar --- I don't care what you say. Yes, James Cameron is most likely a giant tool. That doesn't make his achievement less exciting and magnificent (and I do hate that I have to say it). Best acting? No. Best storyline? No. Crazy awesome. Yes. Those that wish to fight about this fact ... well go ahead. No one is listening. Those involved in making this flick are too busy depositing their constant stream of checks.
#2 - Julie and Julia --- Even though that Julie chick seemed a bit mean the movie is fabulous. Meryl Streep deserves every award she has ever received and while we are at it just hand her a truck load more for the future.
#1 - The Hurt Locker --- Great movie. Tragic. Haunting. Human. Lovely. AND with a very male storyline and all male cast, directed brilliantly by a woman. SO SUCK IT!

There is a good chance 2 of the 10 on my list will make it to the Academy's nominee list. The others are out of luck and those involved in making them should rally harder to have me be in charge of all of Hollywood.