Apr 26, 2010

But I hike on Sundays

As you know I suggest, when online dating, to go out with anyone who asks. You will never know someone well by exchanging emails and the phone is for wimps. So meet up and have a drink. If nothing else you've gotten out of the house and had a tasty beverage. What is bad about that?

Still there are things on a guys online dating profile that causes you to think twice. Don't get me wrong. I'll still meet up for a drink but I have little to no expectations that something great will happen. For example:

* "Lives with roommate" (or other versions of this like "lives with family"). If you are over 30 you don't need a roommate unless you are still mentally a teenager.
* Horrific speller. Now I'm guilty of this BUT I'm smart enough to spell check prior to posting on my profile.
* Any use of the words "soul mate."
* Location outside of US. I often get emails from guys in places like TX. How exactly do they see this working?
* Smokes
* Tons of baggage and bitter about it. Like this guy:
"Girls Girls Girls......If you think you found "Mr. Wonderful" on here, have the decency to at least hide your profile while dating during the 2 weeks it takes you to discover he totally fabricated his profile and now you need a restraining order... "
"Reasearch shows..65% of the bad ones have been on here for 6 mos or longer....hmmm. 15% are divorced/seperated and constantly "man" shopping. 15% stuck in the peter pan party mode. 4% just plain crazy. 1% sincere....I'm looking for that 1%..... "
"I check each day to see you girls I sent a message to, checked me out and passed on me..~~sniffle~~ I hope ya feel good about yourself now....~sniffle~ "
There are plenty more examples on his profile but you get the point.
* Doesn't like dogs. (Who am I kidding. That is a deal breaker. To the curb with you!)

All pink flags but not red ones. Still worth a drink. Even weird desperate baggage guy. There is only one thing that will put a screeching halt on any "drink" date plans for me. The religious question. Let me be very clear if you use the words "god fearing" in your profile we will not get along. I use to have "Spiritual but not religious" as the answer to "what is your religious beliefs" questions as that seems to be the most popular answer. People saw this as code. Like I'm really really really religious but don't want to admit it. It was annoying. So I manned up, got honest and changed it to "atheist." After all that is the truth. So, if you consider yourself "god fearing" there will be a moment in our relationship (it could happen ... I respect those who believe in God and faithfully go to church ... it's just questionable if they respect me) when you get angry at me for getting up early on Sunday to hike with Riggins while you drag yourself to church. It will cause a fight. There will be screaming and before I throw it at you, I will have grabbed the copy of the bible from my "Bible as Literature" class in college (great class) and start quoting things from it and screaming "Really? This really happened?" and making you cry. Believe me ... you will cry. So to keep this horrific scene from playing out the guy who writes this:

About His Religious Background: is the best religious. is a bout to be a good man good father to your child good son for your mom and dad good brother for your brother and sister good friend for your friends believe in god respect other people be a good man for your wife

isn't going to drinks with me.

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