Knows Her Onions?

From one of today's Chemistry "matches":

"Well i can say is I'm good looking ,sincere,hardworking,easy going,love life,love people,caring,loves nature ..not a drinker or a socialite but i do it moderately cos being responsible is my watch word..i never smoke dont think i will ever do it.i love my family ..loves to travel and i thank God for my job cos it involves lot of traveling ..have never been married but i hope i find the right and special woman for me who will compliment me in all ways.

she must be decent,responsible,dont care if she is fat,short,or tall as long as she is good looking and knows her onions ..she ,must be caring,romantic,hard working but dont mind if she haven't got a job..she must be friendly and accommodating,honest ...i know she doesn't have to be perfect Lol cos im not....."

I don't even know what that means so I guess I don't know my onions. Sorry dude.

After laughing and laughing at this dude I looked up "know your onions" AND IT IS A REAL PHRASE -- http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/know-your-onions.html. Who knew? I kinda feel bad. But not much. Sorry guy. I take back the mocking tone on that part of your writing ... the rest on the other hand ...

Just Call Him Mr. Sneaky

Based on my past posts you should now know that sleep is precious to me and I take it very seriously. That is one of the reasons why I have a "no pets sleep with humans" policy (my mom is laughing out loud reading this). Riggins was pretty cool with this rule at one time and would even deny me his cuddling those early mornings I tried to make him come up into bed with me. The only time he really spent the night in the human bed with me is when he was sick or I was sick. Such a sweetie.

Then his b-day came and I made the grand decision that his giant ball mush bed was bad for his back (he is after all 5 now) and a flatter more orthopedic friendly bed would be the perfect gift. When the bed showed up I was happy with how comfy it looked but concerned with the lack of headrest (Riggins likes his pillow). I've tried many pillow options but to this day haven't found an acceptable solution. The dramatic b-day bed change seems to have thrown Riggins for a loop and he decided my bed was where he wanted to be.

Recently I started the smack down again to get him back to his own bed and off of mine. As of now here is how this "smack down" is "working":

* Usually when I go to bed I spend some time reading my book. It is during this 1/2 hr - hr that Riggins slowly stalks around and around the bed looking for his open chance to jump in. When he gets to the point right before a jump I command, "go to bed". His response is to sulk off and try again in a bit.
* Riggins gives up his efforts about the same time I'm ready to turn off the reading light and get some shut eye. He knows now is not the time to make his move and instead pretends he is in a deep slumber.
* From his bed Riggins monitors my REM sleep. Waiting for the moment when I will be off my guard.
* Super early morning I'm in a deep slumber and he makes his move. He slowly gets up and tip toes to the bed. In one effortless jump he lands on top and freezes. Giving the bed time to settle with his weight and to verify that I haven't been disturbed by his super sneaky actions. He then slowly lowers himself down. Not his favorite position but it will do for now. He has made it to the bed undetected.
* Later I find myself awake. Most likely to use the restroom but sometimes it just occurs to me I'm no longer alone on my little bed island. At this point I'm too tired to give a flying flip and although I may mutter a couple of half hearted, "go to beds" he knows it doesn't have the weight required behind it and gives me a look dripping in sarcasm that says, "sure ... I'll get right on that."
* As I drift back to sleep again he knows he has me. I can't fight him. I'm too groggy and sleepy and out of it. He takes advantage to make himself comfortable. He would prefer if all the humans and animals he loved slept on that bed together in one giant pack pile. Since he can't have that he is going to make sure his tiny pack of Wendy/Riggins is as close as it can be. This means he has to find a way to be touching me. You would think that he would put his head on my ankles or something as non-obstructive. You'd be wrong.
* Riggins does his circle, circle flop (that circle thing dogs do before they lay down in a comfy position except instead of carefully laying down Riggins has a very dramatic flop he inserts at the end). The flop is designed to land 1/2 his body on top of mine so that it can slowly slip down my side and he can do it again, and again, and again. This position also demands a pillow be under his head. He is, after all, wanting to be comfy.
* Minutes before my alarm goes off Riggins carefully inches himself away from me to curl up in a ball at a safe distance hoping that I didn't notice the shenanigans that happened all night so he can do it again tomorrow.

He knows how to sneak into those cracks and hit you when you are most venerable. He would give 007 a run for his money!

Fitting it All In!

As I mentioned in a previous blog I had to take Riggins to the vet early this morning (poor kid has to have a round of antibiotics and special shampoo for his skin allergies) and I have to get my hair cut and colored after work today (yes I HAVE to). Luckily I'm working from home today which means I was able to run during lunch!

Mid day run in LA in July = giant sweaty mess! I had no choice but to plop down next to Riggins on the floor to regain my breath, let the sweat dry a bit, and get my heart rate down.

Now this blog post would be a bit boring without some sort of rant so I got somethin' for you. What is with these elastic head bands (said in my best Seinfeld voice)? Since my bangs currently cover my eyes I've had one on all morning but it is quickly driving me insane. How do you all keep these on your heads? Am I deformed? Do you all have some sort of "shelf" in the back of your head for the elastic band to hold onto? Mine tends to slowly slip up and off during the day. I would say it is due to my lack of hair to hold it down but I see girls at exercise class with their hair neatly pulled back into a pony tail and one of these bands still wrapped around their heads (seems like a little bit of an overkill to me but what do I know). What gives? I don't seem to have the "keep the giant rubber band type object in place" gene that all other females have. Hmmffff.

Now off for a super quick shower before writing up a couple of proposals.

Did I mention I'm still sleepy?

Delete

I'm pretty sure this gentleman Chemistry.com wants me to date is a killer. What do you think? Looking for me ... joined souls ... live our lives free ... AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH. Delete.

Super Weekend

I realize my last post was a bit whiny so I thought I'd share with you my very cool weekend.

Fist off Sat was kicked off with a really nice 5K. The people running the event were very sweet and it was for a good cause (http://rosannametoyer.com/). I crossed the finish line with random people cheering me on by name, thanks to the guy on the mic's ability to look up bib numbers fast and furious. On top of that I finally got back to my "fighting time" of crossing the line in under 30 minutes. With all the Bar Method classes I've been doing my weekly runs have been cut down to once a week which has been slowing me down during races. BUT I'M BACK!

After the quickest shower of all time I ran over to my friends house to help set up for a wonderful little boy's 4th b-day party. Happily my sister and her family were down here so they got to go with me to the fantastical event. That means I got to spend quality time with my sister, mom and the babies and included chasing my nephew around a giant back yard and in and out of a bouncy house. Totally worth it as he is an adorable little bundle of cuteness. My niece was as cute but much easier to watch over! The adult after party went late and I was pooped when I hit my pillow.

Sat I was up early hiking with Riggins which made him crazy happy. He ran and ran and ran like his little butt was on fire. He was happy to fully ignore the cries of a couple men who demanded he was in the area where rattlesnakes are. Riggins has no fear and little common sense so he ignored them with a smile on his face as he raced around the no-go zone (one reason he has been vaccinated for rattlesnakes) and I hoped for the best!

On my way home Riggins and I swung by a friends house to drop off back to school gifts for her girls and were easily convinced to head off to breakfast. Two dogs, two women, and a yummy outdoor local restaurant equals fun post hike morning time for humans and animals!

Then off to see Salt and eat it with lovely movie popcorn and soda! I had been saving my "no caffeine" time out card for that moment. Nothing makes me happier than snuggling down in my hoodie in a movie theatre with a box of salty popcorn and a cup of bubbly soda! I even managed to not throw popcorn and the tool-ish dude to my right who thought his comments during the previous were hilarious enough for us all to hear ... they weren't ... but my popcorn was too precious to waste on him!

Some grocery shopping, an arts and crafts project for a friend, and off to bed.

Woo hoo! Super duper fun weekend.

(Note there was no biking or swimming which means it HAS to happen this weekend. Also notice the mass of untamed hair on the top of my head in that picture. Told ya.)

Constant State of Ouch

I'm in pain. Always. I'm tired. Always. Always. Always. Always. I'm in a constant state of ouch. Why? We are told that exercise makes you feel good, healthy, and relieves stress. Okay that may be, but all I do is feel the pain. Is this how professional athletes feel all the time? If so I take back all those things I've said about them not earning their large salaries. Those poor guys/gals must be in agony.

Due to a self made training schedule for my next Tri all I do is work, exercise, and sleep. Honestly. That's it. The thing that gets cut in that schedule? Sleep, and for me working out more makes my body require more sleep. Since I have no control over the time allotted in one 24 hour day I have to make cuts somewhere. It seems slightly unfair that I hear daily, "wow you look exhausted" (aka you look horrible) when I'm exercising to be a more healthy and vibrant person.

Then there is the actual pain of this working out. PAIN. Honestly at any point in my day if you asked me "what hurts?" I'd have an answer for you. Right now, due to last night's bar class, I'd tell you the back of my thigh, abs, biceps and butt (always my butt ... my butt always hurts .... always.) My first bar class last Nov. the teacher said, "it gets easier but it always hurts." The woman wasn't kidding.

Here is the schedule I am hoping to keep ...
Mon, Tue, Wed - Get up early to walk Riggins, Work, Bar Method class, sleep.
Thur - Get up early to swim, work, walk Riggins at lunch, more work, Bar Method class, sleep.
Fri - Get up early to walk Riggins, Work, Run, Sleep.
Sat - Get up early to swim (before pool gets too crowded), bike or hike (I prefer hiking but I really have to bike at some point).
Sun - Get up early to bike (before the crazies come out in my neighborhood and mow me down in their car), hike or run (if I don't hike it means I have to take Riggins to the dog park so hiking kills two birds with one stone and is my preferred activity even though I should run).

Your sleepy just reading that right? Sigh. Me too. The problem with that schedule is that it leaves little to no room for "life". Life usually gets in my way of making this schedule work. This week is shot to hell. For example, yesterday I had to get up early to clean for the cleaning lady instead of walking Riggins. Tomorrow I HAVE TO get my hair cut/colored vs. going to Bar Method. Seriously if you saw my head right now you would realize this is this HAS to be done. Due to the need to socialize and be happy I'm going to dinner at a friends tonight instead of Bar Method and I may have to take Riggins to the vet tomorrow morning instead of going swimming. All that means is that I will feel the need to triple up on my workouts this weekend. Not a bad idea given that the it will help with my tri training. But zzzzzz. I'm too pooped to pop!

I suppose I need to find balance. You know what would help? Cutting something that takes up large chunks of my time ... like work! That's the ticket! I need to find a way to cut that. I'm buying a lotto ticket at lunch! I'm feeling lucky. Tired and in pain ... but lucky!

Funny Story ...

So one of the things I do on my computer is work. One of the other things I do on my computer is write this blog. One of the cold calling/networking sites I use, LinkedIn, allows you to email prospects (well if you pay them enough money they allow you to email prospects). I'm convinced it is useless but my boss swears by it so I do it. I usually email a group of folks (in this case those that are in the "gaming" industry) a quick intro to our services and request to meet or have the info passed on to a more appropriate contact. Here's the thing. These "blast" emails are somewhat useless so, although I do them, I tend to use the same wording over and over. Luckily for me most of the sections you have to fill out save what I've written before. All I do is click in the area that says "contact phone number" and my number pops up. Tada!

Problem --- The subject line section in LinkedIn emails also seems to hold on to my Titles from my blog. So it is ENTIRELY possible that if I'm not careful, and you know I'm not, I'll send a prospect an email with the title "Sir-Enough About Your Butt."

This has almost happened enough times for me to think of the response I would have to the "what the ???!@!@!!" email back I would get. How's this?

"Sorry sir I didn't mean YOUR butt. Funny story. See I write this blog about my adventures of online dating and things I do with my dog. It isn't nearly as pathetic as it sounds. Anyway, the title of one of my blog posts just popped up and I didn't catch it before I hit "send". Sorry about that. Back to the topic at hand. Can you buy some stuff from me? Thanks."

I totally think that will work. If nothing else, if I make this mistake, someone might actually READ the email blasts I sent out!

Sir - Enough About Your Butt

Headline from one of Today's Chemistry "matches":

"hello i am very senstitive man and fanny honest caring and romantic latino for you so dont be scare you can contact me."

Did he really say "fanny"? Yes. He did. He said it again in his "In His Own Words" section:

"hello well i can say to much about myself but you can ask me and i will tell you what you want to know i am here just to try on this site just let me know what you want to know.i am fanny guy and i like the movies, dancing, dinning and am ready for what you want. "

Despite his reassurances, I'm scare.

NOW You Have Standards

On online dating you have to understand that men don't have good pictures of themselves. They just don't. I forwarded a match to a friend today and when she said he scared her I reminded her of this fact. I told her my standards of pictures for online dating with guys is really low. As long as they:
* Aren't obvious gang members.
* Are fully clothed
* Have pictures that don't involve 1/2 naked strippers, dancers, Hooters waitress'
Their pictures pass!

There is a reason why I have these rules. You should see some of these pictures. I'm convinced many of these guys don't actually own shirts and most of them really really really should. Remember the guy with the picture of a naked chick in his hallway and that is what his main photo was --- a picture of that picture in his hallway. AT LEAST once a day I see a picture that is EXTREMELY questionable.

Can you explain then WHY Chemistry.com felt it was necessary to NOT allow me to post the picture above. It's from my visit to Martha's art studio in Philly. It is art AND reflects who I am. I'm sure certain folks, like my mom, will be happy this photo wasn't accepted. BUT I'm cute in it! I need a cute semi-updated photo and I've had a case of the photo uglies lately which means I have limited choices.

Maybe if I was shirtless it would be acceptable.

Now For A Different View of Dating

My friend Lisa and her adorable puppers (AKA Riggins girlfriend) are, like me, lookin' for a man. She, like me, has a blog dedicated to her search (well mine isn't totally dedicated to "dating" but it seems to have that general focus 75% of the time).

Now a handful of months back I read on Lisa's Facebook page that she was getting married. I was so happy for her! Then I read further and thought she had taken a one way train ride into crazy town. Lisa has booked a wedding venue to coordinate with the anniversary of her grandparents and has now enlisted ... well everyone ... to help her find her groom. AND let me tell you I take back the crazy train ride thing because this gal is workin' it. She has brilliantly managed to find men who will actually DATE her vs. just swap emails/texts/etc. Every time I go to her site she had done something super fun on a date. I can't get a guy to stop emailing and meet for drinks and she is having guys taste wedding cakes with her (I take that back. I could have gone on that killer yacht trip if I really wanted to). I'm telling you she is some sort of dating superstar!

If you would like to read a more positive (I'm not saying that I'm not positive ... wait ... who am I kidding ... if you are reading this then you've read my blog and I can't pull one over on you!) response to mid-30's ish dating then head on over to Lisa's blog for some fun!

http://weblogs.cw33.com/news/local/projecthusband/

Why Tri?

I received an email from the PR woman for TrekWomen asking "Why I Tri". She is looking for information on why the participants in the next TrekWomen CA race signed up in an effort to raise awareness of the event.

Now I'm happy she sent me this email as it made me look up info on the Sprint I signed up for. I was thinking it was mid Nov which means I had a month before my training should begin. WRONG! The race is early Oct. which means my training should have started last weekend. Oops. Well I did a 5K so I suppose that kinda counts. Time to brush of the cobwebs on my bike (i hate the bike) and get a new pair of daytime swimming goggles. Thurs. morning Bar Method will have to be pushed for swimming and the heat is coming which means weekend hikes with Riggins will be harder. Easier to force myself to go biking when it's hot then to worry about poor black Riggins dying of heat exhaustion.

So back to the question ... Why Do I Tri? Sadly I don't have a good story. Nothin'. No dramatic reason why I was driven to sign up for my first, second, and now third race. One year my friend Martha did the Tri with her Step Mom. She loved it and I was more than slightly jealous that she had completed something so cool. I swore I'd sign up with her the next year and she held me to that. Martha dragged me to the Rose Bowl Aquatic center, which became my second home as I love swimming more than any other exercise. (Can't wait to get back into the pool. Although it's packed now so I'll have to arm wrestle some small children and H2O team members for a lane.) I'd call my mom and dad after each swim to announce, "I didn't drown!".

The weekend of the race a mutual friend, Martha, and I went down early to sit through orientation and race. We had a blast! My time wasn't fast but I did it and could now say I had completed a Triathlon (sounds more impressive when you leave off the "sprint" part of it).

This year (just a week prior to my 36th b-day) my friend Giovanna and I signed up for the Pasadena Reverse Tri (run, bike, swim vs swim, bike, run). Again my time wasn't fast but I had oodles of fun and felt like I did something really great for myself. Even with my horrific Easter Egg colored tri-suit on.

I don't want to admit it but the Pasadena Reverse Tri is a shorter distance than most sprints which means for my one in Oct. I better start running, swimming & peddling to get ready --- now (well actually last weekend)! Still I know I'll be happy I did it.

Remind me I said that in about a month 1/2 when I'm in pain from trying to train and "brick" training keeps me from going to see the summer movies and I'm near tears.

So why do I tri? I guess because I can!

Hey Farmer, This is a No Plowing Zone

Another well thought out match from Chemsitry.com today:

In his own words - "that she is onesta, sincera and very romantic,and very lovely and that ne respects S A . something that it does not like of that it says it to me.to see as to solve to the problem, and I plow the same,because I am and plow the same and very pasive hatred the violence."

I can't even think of what he means to say when he says "plow." I have to assume he means plow.

So Now My Future Depends on Pictures?

Chemistry.com isn't like some dating sites. You don't get to thumb through the entire database looking for models (or liars that post old pictures of themselves) instead they give you matches. You then say if you are interested or not and that person is alerted. As we know I rarely hear back from these "gentlemen". Recently though I did. Woo hooo! Now you can choose the stupid steps Chemistry gives you of back and forth silly questions and games or you can just send an email. He sent me "5 questions" (5 dumb cookie cutter questions someone at Chemistry.com got paid to think up). I played along, answered his questions and got his answers. Then I was done playing the reindeer games and sent him an email. He ignored that email and sent me the "love it or leave it" (more on that in a sec.). Obviously he likes the games and email scares him. In love it or leave it the person is given 6 computer randomly chosen pictures and you say if you love it or leave it. Then you compare the answers with the other person to see if you should fall madly in love or not. Sigh.

Above is our "comparison". I'm not sure what this means as I didn't get a guide into reading silly Chemistry game answers. Obviously we can't fall madly in love as we didn't get all 5 matched. Bummer. I'd like to point out I struggled with a few of these as I live in the grey. Not so much black and white. Hot Weather for example. It's okay to a point but I can't do extreme heat for long or I'll either dehydrate and die or become a sweaty ball of ewe (like the Wicked Witch). And "Scented Candles" .. what scent? I can do pumpkin and have numerous ones in the house. I like some scented candles which anyone who has been to my house will know but 'SCENTED' = 'SMELLY' to me and I don't want someone showing up to a date with a rose/violet smash scent of allergy sneezing fumes candle coming at me.

See ... this game is dumb.

I'm Speechless

That rarely happens but you tell me what you would say if Chemistry.com matched you up with the following dreamboat:

Headline - DATING IS THE MOST IMPORTANT ASPECT OF LIFE BECAUSE WITHOUT IT WE WILL NOT HAVE EXIST

In His Own Words - I AM A YOUNG MAN WHO IS SEPSRATED AND LOKING FOR A NEW PREFERABLE WHITE LADY WHO POLYGAMY MARRIGE IS NOT A PROBLEM TO HER AND IS READY FOR NEW WAY OF LIFE .FOR ME MARRIAGE DOES NOT MEAN STAYING TOGETHER IN ONE SHELTER BUT IS MUTUAL UNDERSTANDING BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMAN TO ESTABLISHED THEIR FAMILLY THT IS TO LOVE EACH OTHER ,DELIVERED CHILDREEN AND GIVE THEM GOOD EDUCATIONAL BACKGROUND

Profession - ISALES MANAGER AND CHARGE OF MARKETING OF OUR COMPANY PRODUC

Religious Background - FOR ME GOD HAS CREATED US WITH A PURPOSE AND THE PURPOSE IS TO WORSHIP HIM ALONE WITHOUT ASSOCIATING HIM WITH ANY OTHER CREATURE BECAUSE HE IS UNIQUE NO OTHER CREATURE IS LIKE HIM HE HAS NO FATHER NO MOTHER NO SON AND NO DOUGHTER ALL BELONG TO HIM

Movie he has recently enjoyed - I ENJOY THE GLADIATOR BECAUSE HE IS A MAN WHO HAVE WHAT WE CALL HEART

Speechless right? Told you.

My Two Current Favorite Running Songs

The only time I really listen to my iPod is when I'm running or walking Riggins. Although my taste run from musical to rap I tend to gravitate toward songs that I can dream to which makes running a wee bit easier. Here are my two current favorites:

1. Break Your Heart by Taio Cruz. I don't know who Taio Cruz is but he has a few songs featured on my running list. In general hip hop lends itself to being a great running companion. The beat is obvious, strong, and usually just my jogging speed. Add a dash of bad boy flare and I'm all in. This song has a bonus special of Ludacris referring to something as ludicrous. Ha! Kisses to him and Taio (whoever that dude is).

Taio Cruz feat. Ludacris - break your Heart @ Yahoo! Video

2. Now the theme of that last song and my last blog post may have you questioning my mental state when it comes to things of the heart. Never fear! Michael Buble is here! I have a soft spot for dreamy deep velvet male voices and upbeat love songs. Cocky Buble fits the bill perfectly. His song, Haven't Met You Yet, isn't too slow to make it a useless running pal. In fact it's uplifting message gets into your head and while you are starry eyed the miles just tick by (just make sure you are still partly in the game or you could get run over). Take a look (and listen) of him with his "I'm all that and more" charm.

Haven't Met You Yet @ Yahoo! Video

Now just for fun here is 10 songs from my iPod from shuffle mode unedited. Just so you know I'm not lying about my range of musical tastes:

1. According to You - Orianthi

2. It Happens - Sugarland

3. When Love Takes Over - David Guetta

4. Replay - Iyaz

5. Don't Stop Believin' - Journey

6. Cooler Than Me - Mike Posner

7. Break Your Heart - Taio Cruz

8. Savior - Rise Against

9. Wrong Baby Wrong Baby Wrong - Martina McBride.

10. Evacuate the Dancefloor - Casada

Play along. Do a shuffle. What's your 10?

I'm Kinda A Horrible Person

Listen. I am sometimes a horrible person with horrible thoughts. This post will reveal one of these horrible things sooooooo if you are on the cusp of not liking me or thinking I'm slightly evil I suggest skipping this. Just ignore it. If you read on remember you were warned ...

Awhile back while in a "serious" relationship the dude told me a story of how, on a trip across the country, he visited the Grand Canyon. Then he proudly told me stories how he jumped all over the rocky edge over breaks that lead down into the giant open hole in the earth. I was FURIOUS at him. How dare he? What the hell was wrong with him? I gave him a stern yet loving tongue lashing. Sometimes nature is so awesome it doesn't seem real so when you do stupid ass stuff like he had done your actions don't seem to hold any real consequences. Yet, if you go to the gift shop at said canyon there are books written on morons who died because they were playing around and couldn't comprehend the overwhelming danger of their actions. Many of those highlighted in the book fall to their death by jumping around the rocks. Idiots. And how dare the dude I was dating put his life in danger in such a reckless manner? Did he realize he had people who loved and depended on him? Didn't he realize I loved and depended on him? How would we go on without him and how tragic our lives would be if he stupidly died, well so stupidly? It's the same reason I've always shied away from dating cops or firemen and such. I couldn't even imagine how I would feel every time they went to work and put their life on the line. Knowing that I may never see them again and they would never come home. I'd be a wreck 24/7.

Well I'm over it. Totally over it. First of all in retrospect I realize the dude I dated was a complete moron and perhaps that little tale he told should have been a sign. Honestly my life would have had a lot less pain and suffering if one of those jumps the sand/dirt under his feet gave out a bit. (Don't look at me like that. I gave you FULL warning that horrible things were going to be said.) Now I think I'd be not only a-okay with one of those guys who live their professional life on the edge, I'm all for it. Heck go jump in that burning building for all I care. Just don't expect a lot of sympathy if you get burned. I may get funny glances from his pals as I shepherd our children from his grave site to the ice cream truck with a "hey I had him for awhile it was good while it lasted" attitude. I've lived alone for long enough I can take care of myself. It would be nice to have a companion so a time out with a nice guy until he does something stupid (heroic ... whatever) in the line of duty would be a nice time out.

I have thought this for awhile but it came back to the forefront of my mind during the last weeks episode of Deadliest Catch. Any woman who has seen that show is taken back at how ridiculously girl-y our dudes are. Seriously. Wimps. The guys on the show put their life on the line ... for crab. I don't even eat crab and I'm fascinated by that. The dude use to cry like a little baby begging me to cancel the cleaning lady that came at 8AM twice a week on Sat just so he could sleep in. Deadliest Catch guys work in RIDICULOUS conditions for 12+ hours straight and "sleeping" consists of crashing where you fall most likely still in full gear. The dude had a nervous breakdown over a paper cut. I've seen Deadliest Catch guys pull out their own teeth (no dentist on the open seas) or poke holes into their fingernails because they are bruised and swollen. Honestly the dudes around us are sad specimens in comparison to the Deadliest Catch guys.

Now here is the kicker! Again I always thought I'd never be able to date a crab fisherman. After all how can you love someone who may die --- fishing? Then I figured something out. YOU'D RARELY EVER SEE THEM. Win and win! They spend good chucks of their time on a boat miles away off the Alaskan cost. I'm not going on that boat ... I'm staying in our cozy little home that that fishing boat bought. The bonus? Your guy leaving for months on end comes with the much to serious possibility of cheating. I have a deep and strong hatred for cheaters so this would be an issue. BUT WHO CAN YOU CHEAT WITH ON A BOAT OUT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SEA? No chicks on that boat. Okay I'm sure that little town has some crab skanks (probably well named). Still the temptation is limited and if he wants to give up my loving arms for that? Well fine. I get the house. Enjoy your boat.

So someone get me Josh Harris number. That kid is adorable with the sweetest heart of gold. Each shot of his angst ridden face in last week's episode had me in tears. I think we have a match! (No one tell me he is married. I can't handle it when I learn my celebrity loves are married as I don't do cheating. I still morn the loss of Joel McHale.)

I Know Someone Who Isn't Reading this Blog

Email I received from Match.com this weekend. My very intelligent Yahoo! email put it in my spam folder so I almost missed it.

"Hi Match.com Member,

I work in the marketing department for Match.com and have an exciting opportunity to present to our Match.com members in the LA area.

We're looking to capture the fun and excitement of a Match.com first date for a new series of promos...and we'd love for you to be a part of it! Here's the scoop: we're filming real Match.com members on First Dates with people they want to meet from the site. These dates are light, fun and truly illustrate how exciting it can be when you give Match.com a try. So, if you're feeling spontaneous and have someone you've been chatting with online - or someone you've been thinking about reaching out to - we want to hear from you!

To see examples of First Dates we've recently filmed, visit www.youtube.com/matchusa

If you're interested in participating, please contact us asap at womenladates@match.com.

Please also provide the following information with your response to be considered:

1. First and Last name

2. Match.com username

3. Age

4. A recent picture of you

5. Match.com username of the person(s) that you would like to meet

6. Best phone number to reach you

Thank you and we look forward to hearing from you!

Sarah Gray

Match.com"

Hmmm. Who should I suggest my filmed date be with? The LDS fake leer jet magazine designer? The "model"? He won't speak much but maybe he is pretty. The 53 year old possible yacht killer? Mr. Humble? Tarzan? Mr. Stand Up? Superman? Soooo many choices. Wanna make a bet my first date doesn't make it to air? Oooh. Now I sooooo want to do this.