The (Shirtless) Resolutionary War

I think there was some sort of group New Year's Resolution that happened this year. A Resolutionary War that I was not aware I was a part of until they started to attack! Older (a lot older) men have dusted off their best shirtless pictures from their younger days, stormed Match.com, and have me in their sights. Why shirtless you say? Good question. Obviously it was ammunition they felt I would not be able to fight back from. Nah I say! I will stay strong and continue to retaliate with the "block" button until I am victorious!