Lessons in Online Dating Rules

(I'm assuming this will be an ongoing posting theme so let me set the rules. These are my rules. Now I realize I am actually much less crazy than most single females. Therefore, what works for me may not work for some of those other "ladies" online dating. In fact I have a friend that is also on this particular site and would suggest some of my rules aren't true. For the sake of this blog let's just assume I'm right and she is wrong.)

For this lesson we will look deep into my email archives to earlier this morning for an example of what not to say in an intro email and then I will illustrate the correct way to write one.

WRONG WAY:

The 2nd pic with you & your doggy is precious:)

And the 3rd pic of you is so sexy that...Well, it's just plain beyond cruel!
Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go and have a good cry now...

Wendy's notes: Okay. I realize this one doesn't seem too bad on the surface but let's break it down.

1. Gross. That's right you heard me. Gross. I realize you think calling someone "sexy" is a compliment but don't you think you went a little overboard? I mean the visual of what you are doing right now is not okay. It doesn't help that...

2. Your pictures are insulting. Really if I wanted to possibly get fired from my job I would have stayed on the site long enough to report them. I don't need to see a full nudie shot of you that leaves very little to my imagination and I CERTAINLY don't need to see what your bare butt looks like peeking out of some sheets. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? You are 47 for gods sake. Grow up. (By the way the fact that you are 12 years older than me also adds to the gross factor of your statement.)

3. Why are you crying? Are you upset that you are not that bright?

4. How do you expect me to respond to this?

(Although he is correct Riggins and I are adorable!)

CORRECT WAY:

Hi I just read your profile and would love to meet up sometime this week for drinks. When would you be available?

That's it. Clean. Neat. To the point. Not insulting. No need for the non-stop back and forth emails without meeting. Done and done. BTW this totally won't work if you have a picture of your nudie butt up. Nothing can help that person.